What do you think churches can do to be more man-friendly?

This week, a social networking site I frequent posted this topic for discussion.

Women are more likely to be in church than men. What do you think churches can do to be more man-friendly?

My response? I think we ought to overhaul the whole process.

Time: Instead of requiring men to make themselves wake up when they aren’t ready, why not have services after the typical young American man wakes up? 2 or 3 p.m. might be appropriate.

Greeters: Instead of cheesy old people, why not do some recruiting at Hooters?

Music: What young guy listens to hymns or praise these days? Let’s get real. Hard rock is the way to go, with some heavy screamo mixed in. Sure, you can’t actually hear the lyrics, but that’s not the point. We want men to have the best experience possible so they hang around a bit more.

Teaching: Everyone knows men don’t like to sit still. So let’s keep it short – 5 minutes tops. And who wants to listen to some namby-pamby pastor? How about hiring a retired NFL coach to talk about teamwork and good sportsmanship?

Communion: Red wine and bread? That sounds kinda foofy to me. How about beer and hot-wings?

Fellowship hour: No guy likes to stand around and talk. Why not set up a bunch of game systems, outfitted with the most popular multi-player games? That way men can fellowship doing what they really enjoy.

I hope the sarcasm here is obvious. I’m sorry, but this whole question to me seems a bit off. I’m sure the site administration had good intentions by posing it, and I’m sure it’s something church leaders should keep in mind. But at the same time, from my experience, most worship music/hymns are written by MEN. Most pastors are MEN. Most church leaders are still MEN.

I don’t think the church needs to be more man-friendly. I think we all need to get on our knees and pray that American men become more God-friendly.